Est. MMXXV · Apparel for the Examined Life

Wear
the Question,
Not the Answer.

T-shirts for the perpetually curious. Socrates died for your right to overthink your wardrobe.

cogito, ergo sum lost. — DESCARTES (PROBABLY)
"The unexamined life is not worth living — but an unexamined shirt is just a rag." — Goonyshirts

Clothing that makes you think before you get dressed.

Every Goonyshirt begins with a big idea — a question that has rattled around the skulls of the greatest thinkers in history. We then print it on a really comfortable shirt.

We believe philosophy is too important to be locked in academia. Bring Nietzsche to the farmer's market. Take Camus to the gym. Let Wittgenstein ruin your dinner party.

42 Shirt Designs
2,600 Years of ideas
Questions raised

The Collection

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to be, or not to be — that's none of your business.
Existentialism
The Hamlet Tee
"Setting boundaries, philosophically."
$38.00
ONE MUST IMAGINE SISYPHUS doing laundry.
Absurdism · Best Seller
The Camus Classic
"Find meaning in the mundane."
$38.00
GOD is dead. God remains dead. And I forgot my keys.
Nihilism
The Nietzsche
"For the will-to-power dressed casually."
$38.00
I know that I know nothing — and yet here I am, at the self-checkout.
Socratic Method
The Apology
"Epistemic humility, daily."
$38.00
This shirt is not a shirt. Ceci n'est pas une chemise.
Post-Structuralism
The Magritte
"The representation of a thing is not the thing."
$38.00
AMOR FATI (love of fate) including Mondays, the dentist, & traffic.
Stoicism
The Amor Fati
"Embrace everything. Resist nothing."
$38.00
"The more I read, the more I acquire, the more certain I am that I know nothing — which is why I buy another shirt."
— Voltaire (paraphrased, liberally)

We exist because ideas deserve to be worn.

Philosophy is not an ivory tower exercise. It is the original punk. It questions authority, disturbs comfort, and insists on honesty in a world of convenient fictions.

Goonyshirts was born from the belief that the best conversations happen when something on your chest makes a stranger stop and think. Or laugh. Or argue with you at a bus stop.

We work with ethically sourced fabrics, local printers, and big, uncomfortable ideas. Each shirt is a provocation, gently laundered.

Shop the Collection

"The question is not whether you can think — it's whether your outfit is doing it for you."

Shop by Tradition

🏛️
Stoicism
Equanimity, virtue, dichotomy of control
🌑
Existentialism
Radical freedom, bad faith, nausea
🎭
Absurdism
Revolt, freedom, passion
🔬
Empiricism
Sensation, experience, tabula rasa
⚖️
Ethics
The good life, duty, consequences
🌊
Taoism
Harmony, wu wei, the eternal way
🧩
Logic
Validity, soundness, contradictions
💀
Nihilism
Nothing matters — in a liberating way

Dispatch from the Examined Life

Monthly thoughts, new shirts, and one philosophical provocation per issue. No spam. Socrates would approve.